Neglect

I’m back. Wow it feels like years since I have written anything. I am blame school, the gym and laziness. Not really sure what I want to talk about, but I feel like I have neglected my wanting to write. I am chalking this up to being exhausted from the gym/school/life and by the time I get inspired to write, it’s late and I really want to get some sleep. More sleep to 1. be more healthy and have more energy but 2. because I want to go to the gym early. Speaking of which I am going with my best friend Lexi tomorrow morning at 6am, so I am trying to sleep by 10 lol. It’s 9pm now so, let’s see how that goes.

Anyway I also feel like I am neglecting and embracing a new diet all at the same time. For one, I am still keen on going veggie and since my last post I have only eaten two meals with meat (chicken and scallops) and other than that, most of my meals have actually been vegan since I am trying to cut all dairy–that being said I am holding on to cheese with my life. But hey its steps in the right direction, not only for the health reasons but also for the animal rights as well as a healthy planet. The other main reason for still grasping to the cheese is that I am travelling to Italy for a semester this time next year and I just cannot comprehend going there and not eating cheese… mostly for the sheer tasteful pleasure that will come from it and the abundance of cheese they have there. I mean that is a year away so there is plenty of time to adjust.

The main thing I have noticed in this journey of going healthy is that it is just as big of a mental challenge and I don’t think people talk about that side enough. The hardest part is getting your heart and emotions to commit to the changes your eyes and brain want to see. Right now the smell of steak from the sorority house next door is wafting through my window, and I am second guessing the want to go veggie/vegan. But I know that I am eating a life and supporting the death of many animals if I cave into that bite of juicy flesh. The other mental part comes on the work out side of things. Yes, your workout might be hard, but for me is the actual committance of going to the gym. Why wake up at 6am to workout when I could sleep another 2 hours before class? Why go to the gym when I have 12 netflix episodes until the end of the season? Basically its easy for your body to commit to new changes, it’s your mind that needs to face the challenge and overcome it.

On a completely opposite note, my sorority has a dance coming up and I need a date. Like bad. Mostly because my libido has been on the back burner for too long, but also because I don’t want to be that one sister that doesn’t have a date. I also just want some male companionship that doesn’t come in the form of my gay best friend, or the poor guys I have had to friendzone because I see them as brothers and not guys I wanna bang.

Speaking of wanting to bang, my TA for video class is delicious and I just wanna bang. Not for better grades, but solely because I am attracted to him and well he’s just a really great guy. I also just want to play with his hair. Yes, he is the owner of a man bun and hair that is better than mine and I just want to run my fingers through it. I have only told my best friend Allie about who he actually is because everyone else is going to judge me. I say that because anyone who goes to my university knows who this kid is. He’s that kid. The kid that didn’t mean to become a face for our school, but totally is. And point is, I am basing my success in this class off of my ability to bang him (hopefully more than once). The main issues with this are that 1. I don’t want to be failed bc sexual relations with an instructor 2. I don’t want him to face any penalties and 3. I actually want a date along with getting to bang this kid. Basically I am fucked and sadly not by my TA.

Anyway I guess that is all I have to say for now. Hopefully I will stop neglecting my blog and my commitment to going veggie and maybe even vegan.

PS. If anyone has any solutions to my TA banging problem, let me know. Also you should know that I am awkward af and flirting doesn’t really come naturally and yeah. Help me get laid pls. K thx.

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