Happy fucking valentines. As you can probably tell from the fuck word and the fact that I am writing a post at 10:22 on V-day that I am still single as fuck. So I’m not getting laid or being fed chocolate covered strawberries in bed while in sexy lingerie. I mean that is the dream. But hey I am in some hot as fuck victoria’s secret panties. (they look like this but in a hot corally pink https://www.victoriassecret.com/panties/cheekies-and-cheekinis/lace-cheeky-panty-very-sexy?ProductID=254286&CatalogueType=OLS). I hope all of appreciate the hotness of these panties.
Also v-day sucked because I was supposed to get a couples massage with my gay bff and he bailed so that blew and kinda ruined my day.
Anyway onto more important things. I know that I always says that I am going to try and get better at this writing thing– as in doing it more often, I have no interest in working on my grammer, spelling or my profanity. either way, let’s be serious, I never do it so why promise the like 4 readers that I will? So I am promising that I am going to write when I am going to write and it’s going to be real and it’s going to be utter honesty. Because I live on telling the truth. Not always and there are exceptions but why the fuck would I lie? like what is the fucking point. this is who I am and you either like it or you get the fuck out, really no way around that one.
On the other side, I went and saw “How to be Single” tonight and it was a right fuckin laugh and I enjoyed the fuck out of it. It was funny and classic and real– I mean as real as hollywood can get without turning into a documentary. Anyway it was brilliant and everyone should see it, SINGLE OR NOT.
I am also so FUCKING SORE FROM THE GYM and I don’t know how I am going to move tomorrow, let alone be able to do my panhellenic photoshoot. *eye rolling*. don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the fact that my body hurts, it means that I am doing something and I also will be grateful for the super cute pics imma be in tomorrow BUT I just want to do the photos at a later date so that I can study for my test on wednesday and so that I can go the gym and make myself more sore.
Anyway back to the love sector of the day, my best friend Kelsey, well her boyfriend who I adore as a person is in a frat and he is hooking me up with one of the brothers. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am praying that the dry spell is going to be broken, but like also my sorority has a semi-formal coming up and I need a date. And like I dont wanna bang this guy and then be like hey also you should be my date to semi– like is it just me or is that a little weird? But like kels texted conor(her bf) that I didn’t have a date and he said “guy?” I don’t want to use his name on here because I don’t want to jinx my sex or semi chances with this kid because I think he’s attractive and I want to get to know him more, even though we have literally met once and he was plastered and I doubt he remembers me. Anyway I hope that made sense lol.
Point is I am single and sick of it. And not that I am super desperate, I am just so tired of being alone. I want to be able to talk to someone all day and then hang out and bang sometimes and other times just be with one another enjoying eachother’s company. Like universe, why is that so hard to understand? Idk it’s just hard because 1. kels is in a relationship 2. other best friend lexi is turning 21 and I feel like i am going to lose time with her because I am only turning 20 so there is this like weird gap where she can go out to a bar and I cant you know? I mean not that I am not going to see her it just there is going to be times where I want to hang out and she might already be out with people or like she’s going to make other friends and see that I am just not as cool as she thought idk. I am just paranoid 3. and then there’s my person Allie, and she has and always will be there but It’s just hard because we are such busy people and even though we make time for each other, it’s never enough. So I am not only alone in the sense that I don’t have a significant other, but I also don’t always have my people, I just always have me and idk I get bored of myself.
PS. please tell me someone out there is feeling my struggle. I mean sorry to go all deep and sappy about my problems but that’s kinda why I have this blog tbh.
PPS. If anyone has watched the girlfriends guide to divorce, hmu because I fucking love that show.